First things first, I'm not using this small forum to insult, instead I'm using it to honor. I intend to honor those Professional basketball players who over the years have gone down in history; not only for their play on the hardwood court but for their haircuts and facial hair. With that being said, I set out to find some of the best NBA facial hair and haircuts. My resources are limited but i knew were to look. I grabbed a flash light and headed for the attic. Once I was up there I searched around until i found my collection of NBA trading cards. After throwing some towels and other boxes to the side, I grabbed two binders full of NBA cards (years 89-91). Needless to say, these two binders of trading cards were like looking into a time capsule of "flat-tops, Jerry Curls, Boxcuts, and some lingering 70's style porno mustaches. before we begin, lets set a few ground rules.
Ground Rules
1) Larry Bird will not appear on any lists. His mustache, feathered mullet and career numbers are untouchable, un-rankable, and off limits to all.
2) Although i may have hinted at it before, this has little do with career stats (they will be mentioned), It's all about the hair and stache.
Lets get this thing started.
Best NBA mustache
Kurt Rambis: A mustache legend, with a solid career which includes 4,603 points, 4,961 rebounds and 456 blocks. Oh yeah, the guy won 4 world titles with the Showtime L.A. Lakers. He's most remembered for getting his legs taken out by Kevin Mchale in the NBA finals, When he got up and tried to fight back.....he tripped over a camera Man fell back down... spread eagle.
Honorable Mention
1) Kelly Tripuka: Looked like Ron Jeremy with a deadly midrange game
2) Michael Cooper : A teammate of Rambis's, known for his leaping ability, skin tight purple Laker's shorts and blinding white wristbands. Lookin' Good Coop
3) Arvydas Sabonis: A player who's mustache withstood the fall of the Soviet Union. This dude could play. Didn't enter the NBA until he was an old man (by NBA standards) He would work over the leagues best big men with an array of no look passes and spin moves.
Best NBA Hair Cut
Chris Mullin: A tough Brooklyn native with a deadly jumper. Mullin was a member of the original Dream Team and hit more clutch shots than Michael J. Fox did in Teen Wolf. His Flattop was clean, precise and withstood the test of time (He's still wearing' it)
Honorable Mention
Detlef Schrempf: The long lost brother of Ivan Drago from Rocky 4 but much tougher. Schrempf scored over 15,000 points in his career. He was a trend setter, he combined the flattop with the mullet.
Patrick Ewing: Always in a full sweat before the game started. Ewing nearly scored 25,000 points in his career, wore huge wristbands and got dunked on by Scottie Pippin every 5 minutes. The only things taller than Ewing and his numbers was his box cut.
Micheal Cage: A relentless rebounder who played with a relentless Jheri Curl. This guy once led the NBA In rebounding and holds the record for most cans of Activator used by an NBA forward. Has his jersey retired at San Diego State University.
Future Star?
Adam Morrison: Has been compared to Larry Bird, but as of now, his play and mustache can't touch Sir Larry of Boston.
See ya Around
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